Pursuit for Hope

帅哥美女@VOX!

2009-11-25T22:31:00.002+08:00

Hello! It was such a fun day today at VOX!, and I'm so happy. What an enjoyable experience making our own news report video! Woots. Who can deny MY important role as the DIRECTOR AND FINAL PRESENTER?? Anyone? Anyone? No one. Yes I am loved xD

So first of all, I would like to thank my 妈妈 for giving birth to me, and thank Mrs 何 for enrolling me in this workshop, and thank Ngee Ann Poly and Omy.sg and 联合晚报 (sorry if i miss out anything) for organising this too, and thank everyone who took part who made these 3 days such a 美妙的 learning experience, and thank last but not least our mentors who guided us through the darkest hours.

How about I describe the final challenge we went through today...
So basically it was a competition-assignment, there were 4 categories "美色、美声、美食、美腿" [OK I try translating to english: (ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSE) chio bu, chio sound, chio food, chio leg] ...It's not funny at all...

I was in the 美声 category, I mean RI was in it along with Canberra and Nanhua (am I right).

For our own part we used the title "新加坡人是否有一副好嗓子?". I shall write from the start. We took video on the introduction part by the reporter, then we booked the radio room (or whatever it's called) and took some interviewees there to interview and let them sing, their singing were recorded too. We also got to interview the principal of the school of humanities of Ngee Ann Poly (beat that). Then we took the video on the ending part. At last we went back to Staffhub and put all the parts together and did some editing.

At the Staffhub we also typed out and published our news article and published on the VOX! blog. And also I decided my DESTINY was to present our product in the end and I VALIANTLY took up the task. Then I went to face the wall and planned out my script in 30 minutes, my group members wanted to help but I fought them off BRAVELY! My speech was most clearly informative and entertaining, I am a pro my team can't do without.

So there were actually 2 champions in my category. (RAFFLES AND CANBERRA FOR THE WIN?) sorry I not advertising for the schools lol.

I am also happy that I made new friends through this workshop:
The 4 cute and high sec 1s. Molly, SmallKid, Chameleon, and Darren.
ALSO, 2 more people, Miss Radio-pro, and Miss Interview-pro. {The names are from my impression O(∩_∩)O哈哈~} Btw Radio-pro your writing not bad, I read your article on the blog.

So I wish everyone happiness and bye.

B.L.O.G.

2009-11-24T18:41:00.002+08:00

我不知道还有没有人会来到这个部落格，更不知道有没有人愿意或能够看懂这篇中文写的post。

今天是VOX!新媒体新闻营的第二天。我刚回到家。

突然发现，原来，回家好难……

大概是我太留恋在那边跟一群人合作的气氛吧。我喜欢这种感觉，会感到开心，那是一种没有被遗忘的感觉。我不知道他们对我怎么想——我是无聊、我是白痴、或是搞笑？我觉得我不必知道，因为我已经享受到了。可能喜欢跟他们相处的另外一个原因，就是他们也喜欢中文吧。不知道说着是不是会很恶心，但是原来我是寂寞的，就算在一群人里，我只是一个盲人，只感觉到自己的存在。

我有了解我、能够谈心的男性朋友。也有这种女性朋友。
无奈地，其实，只有一个男的，也只有一个女的，至少目前是如此。
在想，是不是我需要更多知心朋友？

我并不是在许多人面前所自称的“Demigod”，我会那样叫自己，一方面是因为觉得好听，但另一方面，其实是在掩饰自己的弱点、缺点。不是为了骗别人，而是为了骗我自己。我清楚，我的心里不可能没有黑暗与光明共存。我还是会羡慕、嫉妒、失落、担心、盼望。只是我处理事情的方式能让我看起来坚强、乐观，而且也许有些人都根本不这么想。

不倒翁永远不会倒，但是却很容易“动摇”。

我已经对游戏失去兴趣，我不需要再存钱买游戏了，因为不是我现有的游戏不好，而是我自己对它感到疲倦。我知道如何“填补空虚”了，只是我还需要克服心理上的某种障碍，要看我敢不敢去做了。

我不是对任何人表现得多愁善感，我是在自我检讨。还有，我竟然用中文写了部落格，没关系，随缘，看得懂的朋友就看吧。我发现，我写部落格，是给自己写的，却不是给人看的，哈哈，对不起啦。

P.K.

2009-11-15T09:44:00.002+08:00

Hi people I have a very nice song here, chinese song. This song is named "PK". So I'll go to the song straight.

词：姚若龙
曲：曹格

歌手：曹格、梁静茹

（男）你有坚持的事情我也有我的个性
这次不让你
call我兄弟飙歌去

（女）跟两个人有关系你却一个人决定
情绪谷底
约好姐妹喝香槟

（男）最恨别人对我不相信
（女）我向往的亲密是一起做决定
（男）干涉太多是囚禁
（女）沟通太少是疏离
（合）爱有千百万种定义

（女）三天不联络和解要被动
（男）我不谈对错假装没冷战过
（合）想在爱里当主key 要抢到麦克风 ♪

（女）三天泪狂流残局你来收
（男）我虽然心痛不能摊手低头
（合）心思拉扯中 PK寂寞 ❤

... ... ... ...
NICE SONG RIGHT

Bom Boom Pow

2009-11-14T23:59:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone. It's late in the night, like, midnight. OH MY SUNNY DAY I JUZ REALISED ITS MY BIRTHDAY! This is the first few minutes of my another new ERA, waahaha...

shamWOOHOO!!

Erm I'm doing the blog post for RI on a blog, well it's for this chinese media workshop called VOX!, and we are sort of required to be excited and active and publish a post on this blog provided about our group, with a brief intro and a group photo. Uh, if you uninterested people are interested, I am somehow the leader of the team and we have 5 people altogether, the rest of the group are secondary 1 people.

Active and Excited... What ironical emotions. Actually even when things are not so bad, I seldom feel like such. But again, as long as I'm alive, I am happy. Look at this smiley face -------------------------> :D

As you should have known it's some media workshop so it's all media stuff and we're definitely required to make some "news report" during the 3 day course. AND I'M CERTAINLY NOT GONNA BE THE GUY ON THE SCREEN MAN. I don't feel like it. Maybe should ask the small small cute cute de sec 1 boy do it, effective yah.

ABOUT GAMES, DUNNO WHAT ELSE TO SAY MORE... Tired of maplestory, tired of rappelz, tired of flyff. I guess I'm tired of all grinding games. I'm beginning to think that I don't play games for the sake of playing, it's to kill my loneliness and my unspokenliness. What else explains my intolerance for grinding? I'm looking for more thrilling games like DotA and sort. Sad that Demigod too good for my com.

I'm not addicted to games, I'm addicted to the feeling when I forget about my own life. Currently, therefore, I'll start to force myself to absorb the reality.

Now other than gaming, I watch funny entertaining videos on Youtube. Mostly those by Nigahiga and Pyrobooby (who is Peter Chao) [CHAO OUTSIDE MWADA FWAKA!]

No Life -------> Negative Life

shamWOOHOO will make u go WOOHOO everytime! TEEHEE! Pwned.

I'm back, The Yuxuan is back!

2009-11-11T09:27:00.002+08:00

Yup, so Hi people and i wish u hari raya puasa happy deepavali merry christmas happy chinese new year happy birthday and have a nice day!

Yesterday night, my mother said she "wanted to kill me", it was something related to money. So, basically she wanted to kill me over money. But I'm not going to get all emotional over this.

Actually, that word sounded more like a salvation than any other thing to me. Why? Because I thought YuXuan died a long, long time ago. When I am no longer just a cute child, when I started handling things related to the society like money, I thought I died. Because I had to throw myself away, I got to know that all those lovable adults are just the living animals, they threw themselves away too, long ago. I realised those things walking by on the streets are not people, I couldn't recognise those things anymore. And so, as I metamorphed into another one of those 'things', i died.

However, hey, my mother said she wanted to kill me, which means I AM STILL ALIVE! That alone already brightened up my soul and made me happy. I won't throw myself away, I'm not giving up because of my mother's beatings or scoldings, and not other people's discrimination or what.

So, hereby I welcome myself back, and the very original YuXuan.

People who are reading this, regardless of adults or teenagers or children or even elders, please think about this: When did you throw yourselves away? And when did you make another person throw himself/herself away?

Now to Relax with Random Thing

2009-08-18T20:22:00.001+08:00

This is the 2nd post for today, first of all I would like to wish everyone happiness :D

Liangping and I went to the Bubble-tea shop (the one near my school) after lunch today because I wanted to buy bubble-tea. There was a bit of a queue and there were some girls from another school before us. [BEHOLD HOW THE DEMIGOD HANDLES SPASTIC PEOPLE! JUZ JOKING :P]

(Liangping and I were talking about DotA)
Me: And since Earthshaker is normally a dual-laner...
(Random Girl who is one of the girls before us came smiling and popping around Liangping)
Me: (Disrupted from my train of thought) Eh?
Liangping: (Hasn't seen the girl) Huh?
(Random Girl came and stood in front of us, facing us of course)
Me: Huh, why?
RandomGirl: (Referring to Liangping) He is my primary schoolmate!
Me: (Poke Liangping) Your primary schoolmate is it?
Liangping: What? I dunno her.
RandomGirl: You for~get me?!
Liangping: Huh... (Ignoring random girl) Damn random sia. What did you say?
Me: I forget already, wait, wait, Earthshaker is a...
Liangping: Cow~
Me: I got it! And since Earthshaker is a duan-laner... (If you notice I still haven't gotten past what I was already saying)
(Random Girl come stand in front of us after going back to her friends again ZZZ)
Me: (Thinking "What does she want sia?"and looked at her with a confused face)
RandomGirl: Nothing, nothing, I made you forget what you want to say haha!
Me: (LAME!) And since Earthshaker is... (ok here my speech is cut off even earlier)
RandomGirl: (To my extreme horror) Which class are you from?
Me: Me? But he is different class from me.
RandomGirl: So what class?
Me: urrgh, he is from 2L, and I'm from 2E...
RandomGirl: (Referring to Liangping) L for Loser! Hahaha. (And walked away for a while)
Liangping: Shall we leave?
Me: Noooooooo! I WANT MY BUBBLE-TEA!
RandomGirl: (Coming back) Eh sorry that loser part was just joking la.
(That was followed by Liangping and I looking at each other with a *sweat* face)
Liangping: That was damn bloody random... Yuxuan what were you saying?
RandomGirl: Is there such thing as damn bloody what the hell?
(Liangping and I were like *Huhhhh...*)
(So finally this random girl was going off and said "bye")

And now I don't know how to end this post so, bye ^^

Crusade your Opinions and Think it All Over Again

2009-08-18T19:13:00.002+08:00

Hello, your fellow Demigod is back. We should get to the point shan't we.

I discovered that recently I have been avoiding the topic of love, not in conversations, but within my own consciousness. Why, am I getting shy, or being hesitant of because of an unknown reason? Fie, fie (well that just means "no").

I think that one shouldn't engage in something straight away without a clear understanding of it, or in some cases, what oneself is even doing, especially when it comes to 'love'. If you still remember, "don't try to run before you learn to walk".

Love is a truly profound thing, or rather, an emotion. Some say one must understand how love works to make it work, some say one should just follow one's instincts; there's no method for it. But still, the main issue about teenagers around my age is not what one do when one is in, as in IN a relationship, it is about entering or attempting to enter the status.

According to my observation so far, it all starts from innocent curiosity all the way until one of the following: 1.Get into a teenage relationship, 2.Get into a teenage relationship and end up breaking up, 3. Unable to get into a relationship, 4. Get into a teenage relationship and preserve it for a long time. Some might be your dream and some might not be, however in any case, the person skips the process of "learning to walk", which is a crucial step for a more matured social life or relationship with people. Well for my part, I have had such fantasies and also observe a lot of such things, those are where my experience or thoughts form from. Nonetheless, in any of the cases above, the person will end up with uncertainty and doubts at one point in his life.

And I think that love is something which is better understood early then understood late, and I think you understand what I mean. Love turns Lust in Evil's hands, I know that it is not possible to kill off Evil; Light and Evil must co-exist in one's soul, but one must do is to manage, or to control his Evil of mind.

It is this Evil of mind that manipulates teenagers to make immature thoughts or actions related to their supposed "love", for some, it might even have turned into a tsunami of lust without themselves realising, or if reminded, denying.

Evil is the manipulator of the mind, while Self-righteousness is the killer of the mind.

According to my own observations, Evil of mind has made boys develop infallibly huge tendency to unreasonably pretend to be emotional. Evil of mind has made girls become either spastic or more spastic (alright this contains some element of humour). Finally, Evil of mind has made teenagers of both sexes attempt to pretend to be matured and invulnerable. I can understand how hard is it for one to pretend to be able to run when one does not even know how to walk. From this part, it somehow goes back to me saying "I Can See, Right, Through, You", although I do want some people to understand that, still, I am being serious here, and we are not talking about Me now, we are talking about Us.

I am not someone who preach knowledge and career, but we can't live without money, so if you are willing to be realistic and do think for your future (and this is also for your future partner), you should focus more on studies now. I am not saying you cannot get into a relationship now, but make sure you manage things and be prepared to be able to face the worst, because getting into a relationship at this age, the worst almost always happens. Which is also why I recommend games so that people can enjoy and socialise while not having to face difficulties, because remember, being in a relationship is not as perfect and fantastical as you might have dreamed.

May enlightenment shine upon all of us,
Your sincere Demigod friend
Signature: LOL

Pain and Joy

2009-08-02T21:22:00.002+08:00

I am beginning to despise my mother, yes I do not want to call her "mum". I don't want to emphasize, I don't need to. I'm probably the only person who can laugh in this kind of situation, in pain... I feel relieved, though I know not the cause of it... And please, stay quiet if you don't understand what is happening to me... I... I don't like to use foul language, I shall not use them.

Never shall I show any emotion before my mother again... Curse me for those wasted, unreal, non-lasting so called "happiness" if I do... What must happen will happen, therefore I shall still admit her as my biological mother, and only my biological mother.

Now a Chinese Song! (Must-try!)

2009-07-28T23:24:00.002+08:00

Alright here comes my favourite song! It's a chinese song -- Dimples, by JJ Lin & A Sa.
You must listen to this song! You'll love it!

小酒窝——林俊杰蔡卓妍
作词:王雅君作曲:林俊杰

JJ: 我还在寻找一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁为我祈祷为我烦恼
为我生气为我闹
A Sa: 幸福开始有预兆
缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了
无聊变得有话聊有变化了

合: 小酒窝长睫毛是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝长睫毛迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

A Sa: 幸福开始有预兆
缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了
无聊变得有话聊有变化了

合: 小酒窝长睫毛是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝长睫毛迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

合: 小酒窝长睫毛迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

It's such a nice and romantic song!

Up and Down

2009-07-26T17:59:00.002+08:00

LOL today my mum returned home all of a sudden and spotted my multi-gaming, I was playing Naruto on PSP while waiting for my DotA game to load. You should know what happened next! Wooooooots. *Pia* *Pia* *Pili Pala Pili Pala Pia Pia Pia* 100-hit Combo! OK I know I'm pretending to be positive... Nothing much about the beating, used to it. But I detest her way of scolding; I said I would have more free time in the next 1 or 2 weeks so I could watch some CDs (those educational films of historical places, I just don't wanna waste the money used to buy them) yesterday night, and today she used that against me. She said I say I would be more free and play more computer games. (Anyway was she arch enemy with computer games in her previous life? Ok whatever.)

And actually the last time she beat me up because I played computer games, she told me to only ever play computer games in my next life. Do you understand how hurtful that was? I mean, it's not that it hurts because I'm not allowed to play computer games. It's the kind of thing she said, which is like, despairing.

Never mind, getting beaten up is not really that bad, but provided you have a very positive mindset. I seem to think about more things after I get beaten up! Well, I realised that there's much more things about your own soul or mind to treasure than to think about girls (or in girls' case boys) all day long; you should develop yourself before you even think about those things. It's just like you have to learn to walk before you learn to run. 'Babies' who learn to run before they learn to walk, fall, fall hard, fall painfully, and it might leave a scar on the 'baby' permanently. And I discovered that every inch my own mind and soul "develops" the more stupor I see in 'babies' mentioned above. However, I don't agree that I should really look down on them (or most of them in my case), because, well, everyone has gone through in one's life being a 'baby'.

Some people might not understand me. You don't really have to, you just have to think about what I said, think about it. Because to understand, you will need a failing parent who has inclination to violence, and a brain which is working well.

By the way, I was forced to say that my goal for my EoY result is 3.6, I was also forced to write an essay for my "wrongdoings, realisations, and goals". Well, to be honest with you, almost the whole essay was a lie. Why? Because I was forced to think and do things which are not my way, and I don't respect it.

Even now, as I use my computer, my mum is poking around now and then to check on what I am doing, and that's seriously getting on my nerves. Life can be sickening, if you are Yuxuan, but nature has its balances, and nature has made me an extremely positive person. I am a free thinker, but if you ask me what do I live by, I live by respect; if you ask me what do I believe in, I believe in nature. And no, I'm not a druid. I shall still be a free-thinker.

Do You Remember?

2009-07-25T22:32:00.002+08:00

Oh well, wanted to write a "good" post but my good mood has limited its possible effectiveness, so I've decided not to try to write it for now. Just another usual Saturday, swimming in the morning and piano lesson in the afternoon.

And I suddenly realised water is so soft today.

Anyway I have a great song to share with you people. This song is really really great, you should listen to it.

Do You Remember -- by Aaron Carter:

Ohhhohhhh yeah
Ooooh
Oohohh
Yeahyeahyeah

Remember, we'd be up all night
Talking til' the morning light, yeayeahhh
Like the way, it used to be
Those simple days
Just you and me, mmmmm

I see ya' baby I know
What's on your mind
'Cause you look like you've
Got something to say

I may not say those words anymore
But maybe it just ain't my way

You ask me do I love you but...
Do you remember
Why I walked on water for you
Do you remember, my
First steps on the moon
Have you ever wondered why I
Gave three wishes to you
You ask the question
But the answer lies
In you, in you
The answer lies in you

Remember, we used to laugh and say
No one understood, our way
And there were times
When you would cry
While knocking on my door
And I was there to shelter your pain

I think baby you should
Get that off your mind
We can make it to a brighter day

I may not say those words anymore
But maybe I can make it my way
Yeahhh, Ooohhh...

You ask me do I love you but...
Do you remember
Why I walked on water for you
Do you remember, my
First steps on the moon
Have you ever wondered why I
Gave three wishes to you
You ask the question
But the answer lies
In you, in you
The answer lies in you

The answer, girl
Lies within your heart
Please take a look inside

You ask me do I love you but...
Do you remember
Why I walked on water for you
Do you remember, my
First steps on the moon
Have you ever wondered why I
Gave three wishes to you
You ask the question
But the answer lies
In you, in you
The answer lies in you

In you, in you
The answer lies in you
in you, in you
(Yeahhh)

Yo Yo Yo

2009-07-19T10:34:00.002+08:00

Hello~

Yesterday was another normal day. Woke up earlier than usual because my mum slammed the door shut when she left the house, and because of a SMS which keeps buzzing at my ear (you know who you are). So I went to play a match of DotA...

I was on the Sentinel team and I random-ed Earthshaker, I was at the bottom lane with Tormented Soul against Storm Spirit and Phantom Lancer. Asshole Lancer keeps on spamming Spirit Lance at me. We eventually won the match because of our pro Shadow Fiend who even got a Divine Rapier, although I never got a perfect chance to do an uber-cool Echo Slam.

And then I had my breakfast and went for my swimming training late, so I stayed back after the lesson to do overtime practice. I raced with my instructor Mr Hoh 3 times of Butterfly-Backstroke-Frogstyle-Freestyle and when we finished it was like "WOAHHH~~~!!!" extremely exhausted, if you do swim you will know how tired I would have been. And I'm sorry to everyone and myself, I will never be late again!

So I went back home, played some Tower Defense and then I went for lunch, I hurriedly ate my lunch and went off for my piano lesson. Nothing happened during piano lesson except for a little girl who kept looking in from the door window and my teacher seemed a bit frustrated by that. I did well for the lesson so I felt glad.

Then I did many quizzes on Facebook in the night for fun because I felt too bored (I like doing quizzes xD).

Yup that's all.

I AM BACK (if u can guess what i mean by this)

2009-07-16T16:51:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been treated awfully, or treated others awfully before? Well, even though doing this might be due to one's inner weakness, it is not entirely your fault.

Then why?

Because our society is too weak and immature.

If you just want a short and sweet explanation or example, it will be: the fact that Xiaxue's blog and those of the same kind are so popular shows that our society is weak, and immature.

"They want war, then we give them war! We charge, we fight, we die, in honour! We stain the battlefield with our glorious blood, for our kingdom!"
"We want a peaceful world where everyone lives happily, and by working together it will be achieved."

Which speech is more moralising and persuasive? Of course a normal person would say it's the first one. However, as you think again, you are actually being moralised over war but not peace, and being persuaded for violence instead of peace?

Courage, it is about withholding violence.

So now, let's move on back to Xiaxue's blog and those of the sort. We can link these blogs all the way to modern teenagers having this kind of thought of "we teenagers deserve our rightful position in the society, we must show people our way, adults shall not control or limit us, they will hear our voice!". That is an immature thought. No, it's not their fault, they are just victims. Adults shouldn't just ground them or cane them or scold them, but adults also shouldn't think it's just that they are kids who got mistaken in their minds and went the wrong way and try to help them while containing that kind of thought in mind.

Just because our society is too weak and immature itself, it lacks respect.

Elders don't respect minors, while teenagers don't respect adults. So eventually everybody gets devoured by this vicious cycle. All the weaknesses get passed around and influence young people, adults overlook their children's needs, thus resulting in the teenagers becoming rebellious and immatured people. When teenagers use the word "fuck", they don't just mean scolding, what they are trying to tell, and to tell adults especially, is that they don't care about the virtual and physical boundaries adults set for them, yes, "To hear their voice". Subsequently, the later generations of children get influenced by their seniors, they themselves would also most probably experience the same miseries, which actually stack up with what their seniors have showed them, and the vicious cycle goes on and on... on and on towards our moral doom. The current older teenagers will become our elderly, the youngers ones will become adults, and they will give birth to children. Then the whole world will be in resultant chaos after a long-term effect.

We need to improve culturally, religiously, technologically, intellectually, but our greatest need is to improve morally.

People do not dare to tell themselves that they are wrong, and they respond in ridiculous and petty ways when they are told so. People do not have the courage to look into the past with their very own way, their own power, and their own beliefs. They are afraid to be left out and always make themselves think like how others do, and that eventually become their own way, dragging them into the cruel vicious cycle.

I personally believe in change, I believe that we can improve, humanity is flawed, but humans are always able of improvement. We must not be weak to accept the truth that we are wrong in some ways, and then we go for change. A new era awaits us. I'm not a saviour, nor am I a paladin. I just wish to help...

With respect comes everything, sensibility, consideration, tolerance and so on... most importantly, as people can get along better with one another, there comes happiness, wouldn't our lives be more wonderful by then?

My Music Teacher Has Imba Singing!!

2009-07-16T16:20:00.002+08:00

Hi Hi. I wish everyone to note that my poem/prose/verse/blah has gone through some minor changes:

情初开,梦相许,似雁双飞,胜过千万事。
人终散,非己属,各奔千秋,何苦单相思?
单相思,何时了,来日方长,莫要愁至老!

As you can see, the 2nd word of the 2nd stanza "已" has been changed to "终" so that now it doesn't sound awkward and now it has the first accent just like the 2nd word of the first stanza, also, "终" corresponds "初" showing the contrast of beginning and end.

The second change is in the last stanza, the 2nd last word, "到" has been changed to "至", there was no problem with "到" but I changed it to make it sound nicer and more proper.

And some updates on my DotA Team...

Liangping says that he wants to join XtRa, and he said he'll use the name XtRa.Pig (because we want all members to use animal names with the initial "P"). Well that's about all...

It's Good to have Less Things I Believe in, now I'm more Focused...

2009-07-15T20:43:00.002+08:00

Utterly dismayed...

By my mother.

I had my dinner just now. While eating I was thinking of XXX beating Jingheng up during recess today, so I thought I would want to share my thoughts on this XXX person with my mother. I hesitated, but I decided to do it in the end. And so I did...

Jingheng is a truly a strong person, one of the strongest I have ever seen. And when I say 'strong' here I am referring to his mental strength. He didn't retaliate, not even say a bad word although XXX dragged and punched him around the classroom. I respect him. He was standing there silently, I guess he was disappointed and angry, he withstood it. I remember telling him this, "Why do you still want to be friends with XXX even when you know he does this to you? Do you think this is a real 'friend'? If it's just a 'fake friend', why BE friends with him?" He is my friend, I should not just watch.

At this point, my mother said, "I know you are trying to help, but when you go out to society in the future, do not mind others' business too much, someone else might just badmouth you because of that and you might get into trouble. Sometimes it's not so easy to help someone. And don't even think about changing XXX, it's impossible for someone to just change because you ask for it." I know she said that for my own good, but I really can't take a sentence like that; it is against my character. So for the first time I revealed my thoughts to her. "It's not that people can't change, it's because some people are too weak."

Then suddenly she got impatient and angry, and shouted a fallacy at me, "Then you're talking as if it's so easy! You say people can change, have you yourself changed? Don't you still play computer games? I'm telling you from my experience, stop being stubborn!" Is playing computer games wrong, or beating someone up wrong? How are you comparing that? And about the part where whether people can change, I'm still working my brain on it, 'cos I actually find it to be quite easy. And what my mother has experienced, I can understand that she is telling me for my own good, but our whole society is weak (I will talk about this in a later post).

Somehow, what she said was like doing her best to reduce my faith in her although she isn't aware of it herself. Don't worry, I do love my mother, I know how to control myself too... But for now, the only 2 kinds of people I really trust are myself and my friends. But it can be a good thing that now I am somehow more focused in my beliefs.

I shall end by wishing Jingheng the best of luck.

And to my friends out there: Have faith in me, 'cos I really care about you, I am your friend.

I Just Need Another Spark to Write A Good Post, Where is It?

2009-07-15T19:20:00.002+08:00

Hi, below is a poem/verse/prose (I don't know how I should call it, maybe it's none of the above) that I have came up with, yes it's 100% original:

情初开, 梦相许, 似雁双飞, 胜过千万事。

人已散, 非己属, 各奔千秋, 何苦单相思?

单相思, 何时了, 来日方长, 莫要愁到老!

You can comment on it or give me some suggestions, totally welcomed.

And, I'm planning on taking 2 Science 2 Humanities in Sec 3. Don't know if can continue French... Of course I don't want to, but if i can't continue because my grades are too lousy, my mum will screw me upside down...

Some update on the forming of our DotA team...

Yeah it's confirmed we will form our team named XtRa. Me=XtRa.Panda [confirmed], Kimsong=XtRa.Phoenix [confirmed], and Marcus=XtRa.Prawn [should be confirmed...], Liangping is interested too...

Nothing much happened today... Screwed around during Chinese lesson when I was supposed to finish a compo in an hour. At last I rushed it in twenty minutes. I got my Chinese reading test paper back yesterday, and it was a bloody total failure. I got 22/25! Because I was reading the book instead of doing the test, then I had to rush the whole paper in 5 minutes so my last question was unfinished and I got 3 marks deducted from that question. I could have gotten full marks!

Also played a DotA game against public with Roy today, and he got to choose my hero since I lost to him in a bet during French class. He asked me to use Prophet and... GG although we had a very pro Nerubian Weaver.

Alright that's all and have a nice day people.

The Exponential Field

2009-07-14T18:56:00.003+08:00

Yo!
I'm here for a while just to deliver a piece of good news that our unofficial DotA clan has been formed!

Name of our clan is XtRa (which actually stands for the word 'extra')!

The current members are:

Me (I'm Yuxuan lah) -- XtRa.Panda
Kimsong -------------- XtRa.Phoenix
and Marcus ----------- XtRa.Pampers (... I'm not sure if he's confirmed but this is what he has said so far...)

We would invite Jeekinn to join once he reaches around Kimsong's standard or better, which I think wouldn't take too long!

And please, we are calling out (of course to people that are acquainted with us in one way or another) to you people to join our XtRa clan!

Actually we sincerely want Waichong too but he doesn't seem to be interested...
That's all for now. I will update with more changes to our clan stuff! (Although I know few who read my blog would be even interested...)

Are YOU Interested?

2009-07-11T21:04:00.004+08:00

Hey guys (I don't think this can appeal to any girls I know anyway) are anyone of you interested in organising a DotA team?

It's not about any competitive gameplay or what, it shall just be a unified identity, well, let's say a sense of belonging or whatsoever. It is not limited to five people (well as I've said it's not a competition we'll just have it as a sort of guild/clan/company). Also in my opinion it would be quite cool.
It's nothing much, if you're interested, all there's to do for each of us is to create an individual account with a name using the format below:

[TeamName].[PlayerName]
(e.g. ABC.Yuxuan)

The team name will be suggested and voted by the members, while the player names will be decided yourselves and reported so everyone identifies each other. We will also then decide everyone's roles, for example, leader (this role is necessary in Captain's Mode and Captain's Draft Mode), tanker, DPS, supporter, initiator, ganker, disabler etc. This proposal is open to everyone, so please tell me personally (email or MSN too if you like) if you're interested. We will form our team once the number reaches 3. Please show some support and show some love. You can tell me if you're interested through my blog shoutbox but please only report when you're decided.

独唱情歌 Singing the Love Song Alone

2009-07-10T22:52:00.002+08:00

[Title: 独唱情歌]

[Album: Fighting!生存之道]
词：姚若龙曲： Tank
歌手： Tank, Selina

TANK: 下弦月星满天像谁泪涟涟
一阵风一首歌摇晃思念
只恨年少爱逞强
为小事轻言离别

Selina: 在春天过冬天张眼睛冬眠
一颗心一种病不停落叶
旧情怎么那么长
打了绕了几千结

合：有没有一把剑
可以真斩了藕断丝连
有没有一条线
能缝扯散了缘

合：独唱情歌最苦涩
逃不了的折磨
当生死相许说出口
别后悬念依旧
独唱情歌最苦涩
管不住的离愁
赶下眉头又上心头
我好想再暖和你手

TANK: 下弦月星满天像谁泪涟涟
她微笑她捧花都看不见
我只听着你从前
捧着声张的誓言

Selina: 在春天过冬天张眼睛冬眠
看倔强带幸福越走越远
有时不愿让一点
最后却失去一切

合：有没有一把剑
可以真斩了藕断丝连
有没有一条线
能缝扯散了缘

合：独唱情歌最苦涩
逃不了的折磨
当生死相许说出口
别后悬念依旧
独唱情歌最苦涩
管不住的离愁
赶下眉头又上心头
我好想再暖和你手

Selina: 我站在柳絮扎眼寂寞胡同
谁在弄堂忽然沉默泪流

合：独唱情歌最苦涩
逃不了的折磨
当生死相许说出口
别后悬念依旧
独唱情歌最苦涩
管不住的离愁
赶下眉头又上心头
我好想再暖和你手

It's a nice song!

OK I just spared time out of my BUSY schedule to do this

2009-07-08T19:58:00.002+08:00

Well hi everyone.

This morning, Ms Grace Chong returned for her first biology lesson after being quarantined for the first week. So I felt abit "wth" no more slack lessons, and began worrying about whether I can do well in this subject (I am starting to dislike science). Just when I'm having this sort of internal struggle, Ms Grace shot at me a bolt out of the blue, " Yuxuan! Why don't you have a pencil in your hand! You are supposed to copy down what you should have in your file!"

Then I was like "ok I'll take them down".
But what she said seemed to remind her of something (hmm, something) then she shout at me once again, "where is your chemistry file! ('cos she taught us chemistry last term and we were supposed to hand up our files to her before the term ended) You haven't handed it up!" And she looked at me as if she anticipated me not to hand my file up since long ago.

Wanna know the truth? I did hand it up last term. (She SAYS she didn't get Soe Lwin's as well) I just detest people who like to assume things, and even worse, wrongly accuse people because they assume. Sorry but I'm the type of person who doesn't like to explain much, I live happily as long as I know I did nothing wrong.

Well that should be all, and I want to say I'm always glad to have you friends out there. =D

My Blog is not Dead

2009-07-07T22:40:00.002+08:00

I know this is lame but I have to tell you guys and girls out there that this blog isn't dead yet. I'm just too busy recently. I'll definitely start blogging again latest by the end of next week. So, those who have been anticipating for new posts, please be patient and forgive me for this! xD

Well there's nothing else, just a brief message here: respect others and be nice to your friends!

Wish everyone happy

No Title

2009-06-26T19:21:00.002+08:00

I have seen a girl that looks like Gareth (from RINCC)
I have seen a girl that looks like Liang Ping
I have seen a girl that looks like Julius
I have also seen a girl that looks like Terence
(psst, those people mentioned above are all boys)
(How come I fill my blog with such low-life things sometimes?)

Anyway, now I have something with much higher standard! I spent 15 minutes to figure this out! It's a social equation:

Too much liberty of TV programmes + Too much liberty of speech + Too much liberty of action = Egocentric teenagers with high inclination to fantasies and tendency to violate emotions

Egocentric teenagers with high inclination to fantasies and tendency to violate emotions + Peer pressure + Interpersonal influence + False Dignity = Decaying generation of teenagers who are gradually walking towards moral downfall however blindfolded themselves from the truth

Watch that!

I Am Back!

2009-06-24T22:53:00.002+08:00

hey guys and girls... I'm back in Singapore, I landed yesterday night, 23rd of June. By the way I went to China, hey...

Being back in Singapore, I feel quite lost and sad, because it is once again the progress of losing my comfortable life in my hometown, losing the love and care from my grandparents, my uncle, my aunt and my little bro. One thing is that I don't have to worry about anything back home, but now I'm entering loneliness and need to worry about a lot of things again, I think I'm just tired, altough I know it's still long and far from closing my eyes once and forever for eternal bliss. Here in Singapore, I only have myself and my mum who doesn't really understand or try to understand me and she herself doesn't know it, it's weird huh... Being alone isn't cool, it's like making sense how much pain that Pein, Sasuke and Naruto have gone through (I just read manga before typing this post). I remember, I know, and I don't want to deny that I did cry a little, yes a little really, when the plane from Guangzhou to Singapore was going to take off (I took a plane from Nanchang to Guangzhou, then Guangzhou to Singapore), I called back home to tell my Grandmother that I was on the plane and was going to take off soon, at the end of the talk, she said, "Take care of yourself. Good boy."
Suddenly the emotions I was trying to hide deep down somewhere in my soul were evoked unconsciously, I gazed out of the plane window and just let whatever tear I ever have, if I had any since long ago, flow out mindlessly, I allowed images to surface in my mind. After a while, I felt alright, and continued with my journey.

I will continue to gradually update my blog with my english-translated daily journal of my journey in China, please have patience in me. Thank you.

If you're interested in Bionicle™

2009-06-07T21:54:00.002+08:00

As the title says if you happen to be interested in Bionicle™ you can know more by visiting these sites:

Some introduction about the 3rd Bionicle story: Bionicle Legends
To know more about specific characters and groups in Bionicle
The Bionicle official site
To read up more about Bionicle

There are some Bionicle comics available in the official sites but for books you'll have to buy them yourself at Popular bookstore. I don't know where to buy Bionicle movies CDs yet but maybe you can try to get them online.

Cool things: From DotA to Bionicle™

2009-06-06T17:48:00.006+08:00

Here're some cool DotA hero stories to share with you people and spark non-DotA-players' interests on the game map of Warcraft III, which is one the mostly played game, or should I say, game map, in the world today.

Yurnero the Juggernaut (Sentinel) -- "Slicing through armor with the greatest of ease. Whirling, dancing like a dervish, swiping foes with a flick of the wrist. Poetry in motion, slashing enemy upon enemy in the blink of an eye. Yurnero seeks perfection. Seeks to become one with his blade. All to fulfill his destiny as the unstoppable Juggernaut."

Leshrac the Malicious, the Tormented Soul (Scourge) -- "
Torment around me.
Torment in me.
Torment be with me.
And let us conquer our foes. They do not understand our pain.

Do you? No. Not a soul can.

And for that, We shall make them feel the torment... The torment that inhabits my soul."

And now passing on to Bionicle™!

Well the slogan for Bionicle which appears in every related book is FIND THE POWER, LIVE THE LEGEND. How cool is that :D Sad thing I haven't watched any Bionicle movie before.

OK now some intro about it. Bionicle™ is a Lego product, for which Lego produces DIY plastic toy models with different cool containers for each set (Yes the models come in sets, generally of 6, but you may choose to purchase the models individually, although occasionally Lego may release giant boxes of larger models based on special characters which appear in the stories), and also books are published in the title "Bionicle". Up to now, the story is in its third series; there have been 3 series of stories so far, namely Bionicle Chronicles, Bionicle Adventures, and Bionicle Legends, in order.

The Bionicle main world (because it has a universe and another planet called Bara Magna is revealed in Bionicle Legends) is made up of islands, or rather, continents which scatter across the world, floating on giant masses of liquid protodermis {which are just like our oceans. A side note: protodermis exists in 3 different forms, solid protodermis which are used to craft tools and objects and liquid protodermis which has no need for explanation (and it isn't poisonous), and lastly the energized protodermis which is capable of devastating (or rarely good) effects, if you fall into a pool of those, you either die or you get mutated, and when you get mutated you might lose your senses and become a monster, so the chance is very mediocre that you get turned into a superhero by jumping into energized protodermis.} The world is inhabited predominantly by biomechanical beings called Matoran. Though most of the time "Matoran" refers to small workers, it can be extended to the warrior Toa or elder Turaga that Matoran can sometimes become. Regardless, all wear Kanohi Masks and have some degree of elemental power. The world and its multiple races was once protected by a Great Spirit named Mata Nui, but he was cast into an unnatural sleep by the evil Brotherhood of Makuta, led by Makuta Teridax, and the universe began to decay.

Main groups of beings which appear in the story are Matoran (Civilians, chosen people of Mata Nui, their 3 virtues are Unity, Duty and Destiny), Toa (Warriors and protectors of the Matorans, transformed from Matoran to Toa using Toa Stones), Turaga (Ex-Toa, village elder), Order of Mata Nui (An organisation that serves Mata Nui, originally known as the Hand of Artakha, leader is Toa Helryx who ordered a Destiny War against the Brotherhood), Brotherhood of Makuta (Massive faction led by Makuta Teridax, it's a sect of evil and sadistic shapeshifters), Dark Hunters (An organization of bounty hunters led by the Shadowed One, generally evil but they work for whoever pays the most and can change side any time depending on the rewards), Piraka {A band of 7 Skakdis (Vezon was spawned from Vezok but acts independently) who formerly worked for the Dark Hunters but turned rogue in quest for the Mask of Life, they suffered bad consequences (the original leader is dead, the other 5 are most likely destroyed, and Vezon turned into a walking dimensional portal [LOL, another masterpiece by energized protodermis]}, Barraki (Ancient warlords who once led the League of the Six Kingdoms who were then banished to the Pit and mutated, they also eyed the Mask of Life, 1 of them died, another is currently missing), Rahi (Biomechanical Wild Beasts), Great Beings (those who are even more powerful than Mata Nui, they were the ones who actually sent the Great Spirit Mata Nui to protect the universe while they created universes), Great Spirit Mata Nui (Guardian of the universe, he represents all that is good, rendered unconscious by Makuta Teridax, his body is currently being controlled by Makuta while his spirit is trapped inside the Kanohi Ignika, Mask of Life), Significant creations (Bohrok, Bohrok Va, Bahrag, Bohrok-Kal, Umbra, Karzahni, Tren Krom, Artakha), and the Agori (villagers of Bara Magna, they are workers just like the matorans) and Glatorian (The warriors that the different tribes hire to settle disputes over territory and resources so that war will not result) who inhabit the planet Bara Magna (It's a desert planet, the native being have no mask or elemental powers, and they are organic with some mechanical implants while Matorans are mechanical with some organic parts).

Epic Quotes (Remixed)

2009-06-06T17:08:00.002+08:00

Roy(to me): "(DJmax) Who ever plays 6 buttons?! 4 buttons is the only mode you should play; 4 buttons is what DJmax is made of. Only noobs like you play 6 buttons."

Minghan(also to me): "(also DJmax) 6 buttons sucks. Pros play 4 buttons *smiles proudly at me*."

Comment: LOL. I still remember that day at Roy's house, I asked Minghan to play with me hard style level 8 "Another Day" with me, then he made it normal style level 7, then he lost and walked away to do some other thing. Then Roy walked to me in a very cool fashion and made the song hard style level 8 and started the battle without saying anything (yea act cool mah) and... he got owned... I was like HaHaaHa Roy I See Your Standard! And he walked away over to Minghan and started to guailan Minghan. lol!

Games -- Keep your hands UP, pal!

2009-06-05T00:17:00.003+08:00

Hey, Yo there, guys and girls! Hmm, yeah, I know I haven't published any new post since last Tuesday, so here's a big fresh Hi and Hug to all of you (trying to be positive here)!

So, let's start with games. I'm sure everyone of you out there play a game of two. Well here's some of the games I currently play:

DotA Allstars (Heroes I'm good at / training: TOP SECRET)
Audition: Dance Battle -- Season 2 (IGN: BlueMoonStarz)
Rappelz: Rise of the Beasts (IGNs: GeneraDarc, SoulFly, DIENova, Scytheus)
Rakion: Chaos Force (IGNs: [S_S_CoCo])

I also play Heroes of Might and Magic, The Sims (Easily Bored), Roller Coaster Tycoon (Stopped playing 'cos there're online games), Rise of Nations (in the past), Worms (that siege game), some GTA (Grand Theft Auto), AoE III (Age of Empires 3), Avencast: Rise of the Mage, and NINJA TURTLES!! (TMNT ftw xD) oh yeah, and Hot Wheels (haven't touched it for a few years T_T)

Well games I would be expecting are none other than Blizzard's Starcraft 2 and Diablo 3, however the sad thing is I most likely can only afford 1 of the 2 babies. In huge dilemma. The criteria of choice I have set for myself is: If DotA will be released in Starcraft 2 I'll get Starcraft 2; and if not I'll get Diablo 3 (and I think Jacky might get D3 so I can train with him on Battle Net! ><)

For PSP games, I play:
God of War: Chains of Olympus (Bored)
Patapon (I'm going to get Patapon 2)
Burnout Legends (Sexy crashes but I don't feel like playing it already)
DJmax Portable 2 (8 Buttons currently in training! And I'm gonna own Jolene in 4 Buttons (=.= Noob... JKJK) on Teacher's Day (Scared she kiasu purposely not bring PSP on that day)!)
Naruto Ultimate Ninja Heroes 2 (Got owned by Iliya on the last day of Term 2! wth. I remember how I owned Haoran on his PS2 game, though xP)
Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce (Gonna play it during my journey to and from China in the June Hols!)
[Going to download Valhalla Knights 2 'cos it looks cool]

If you guys feel that there's any nice nice games out there don't hesitate to tell me! I'm searching for games that have high re-play value!

Alright here shall mark the end of this post. Here's wishing everyone and myself a desirable and pleasant and lucky and happy and lovely Semester 2 when holidays are over! (Think about school again, UPSET)

Special thanks to Gwendalynne (Small Kid) for asking for blog updates therefore resulting in me keeping my blog alive for quite a few instances (Don't tell me she's too bored to do anything else then I'll send her into the abyss of small children of no return) (Hah, small) (Thanks anyway).

P.S.: I want to play Diablo with Jacky ><

Epic Quotes!

2009-05-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

Churchx91 (Youtube user): "If you look into Diablo's lore Tyrael is actually on the side of humans as stated in diablo 2 but it's true that most angels are just like demons except they get followers through the Zakarum church. Where demons get followers through the promise of power. And then we have the necromancers which despite the fact that they summon the dead and make use of curses, are in truth the true protectors of sanctuary."

tarmynastyr (Youtube user): "If you look more deeply into Diablo's lore, you can see that Angels and Demons are both similar in one aspect: Violence! While Demons like Diablo and Baal prefer using violence directly, Angels are more shrewd and apply violence in the form of retribution. Do not be mistaken, Angels in the Diablo world are not those preaching love."

Comment: Yes, angels and demons (in Diablo) were never too different. They treat each other as enemy, they reach out to humans to join their forces, offer them power, divine or damned, in return. They are not symbols of love and hatred, they are not invincible, they are just armies who fight each other for infinite ages. An excellent example is the arch angel Izual who was eventually overcome by evil.

Lee Kuan Yew (MM of S'pore): "Mine is a very matter-of-fact approach to the problem. If you can select a population and they're educated and they're properly brought up, then you don't have to use too much of the stick because they would already have been trained. It's like with dogs. You train it in a proper way from small. It will know that it's got to leave, go outside to pee and to defecate. No, we are not that kind of society. We had to train adult dogs who even today deliberately urinate in the lifts."

Comment: I don't get why some Singaporeans are still unsatified with MM Lee, I mean, every politician can't escape being criticized, but if he can be studied by leaders of other nations as a role model, then he has been a successful politician. Maybe that's human nature -- always wanting more? Don't forget it was MM Lee who led S'pore through its hardest years.

Terence: "What are worksheets for? They are there for us to get scolded. When we do wrong, we get scolded. When we don't do, we still get scolded; There's no way not to get scolded because the worksheets are too difficult for us. So we might as well don't do them."

Comment: Beautifully spoken! I love this.

Gwendalynne, De La Small Kids

2009-05-24T23:17:00.003+08:00

lol there's this funny conversation between me and Gwendalynne and she sounds so retarded.

Gwen: "When is the next course ah?"
Me: "Are you sure I know?"
Gwen: "You seem like you know."
Me: "I seem like I know, but are you sure I know?"
Gwen: "Tell me if you know."
Me: "Ok I'll tell you if I know."

She totally got owned! See I'm so pro.
I know to some of you it might not look funny! But after you read it you'll feel like laughing! HeHaHaHoHoHe at Gwendalynne de la small kids. Hah, small~!

Don't just watch, See.

2009-05-21T16:43:00.005+08:00

Recently, thinking about mangas/animes has inspired some thoughts in me. I think we can actually learn alot of things from mangas so I've decided to write the post.

First up, 3 of my favourite (male) manga characters:

L from Death Note: "Every day I spend on this world makes me want to live longer."
The courage to sentence himself to death to save the world. Unquestionable justice. Genius.

Naruto Uzumaki from Naruto: "I speak my mind; That's My Ninja Way!" "If I fail my 999th time, I'll just try a thousand time!"
Incredible perseverance. Kind-hearted. Brave. A lot of justice in him too. A Jinchuuriki. (I want to see Sasuke and him as best friends again)

Rock Lee from Naruto: "If you're the Genius Type, I'd be the Hardworking Type who'll beat you!"
Also a lot of perseverance. Brave. VERY hardworking. Strong although unable to use ninjutsu. Two thumbs up for our bushy brow dude!

From my favourite characters you can see that I'm more inclined towards hard workers then quick thinkers, I just admire people who try to surpass those born with more talent with hard work, though I'm not a hard worker myself. L is a class of his own, to me, he is of a higher standard of man and the symbol of justice and courage.

Secondly, my 3 favourite female characters (all from Naruto) :

Hinata Hyuga from Naruto: "I was always chasing you... Wanting to overtake you... I just wanted to walk with you... I wanted to be with you... You changed me! Your smile saved me! So I'm not afraid to die protecting you! Because I -- Love You..."
Perseverance, and more perseverance towards Naruto. She didn't chase after Naruto like how other girls were to Sasuke. But she was always secretly by Naruto's side---- The Greatest form of love. A special girl with a touching story, as touching as Lee's. Hinata plain rocks.

Sakura Haruno from Naruto: "But all I did was to watch you guys from behind... Yet... You always fought to protect me. I want to become like you guys... Everyone... This time... You'll watch me from behind!"
Yes, I know Inner Sakura is so unfair for a non-jinchuuriki; I don't like a billboard brow myself. But her courage and determination is definitely approvable, and the scene where she cut her own hair short with a kunai is quite cool.

Tenten from Naruto: (No specific quotes)
Well quite a quiet and cute girl who stands by Neji, good-natured, and the Tenten-Neji combination is worth waiting to read/watch.

Other favourites: Shikamaru Nara and Kiba Inuzuka and Kakashi Hatake

Behind every ninja, both protagonists and lesser protagonists, there is a story to be known, there are hearts to be touched, there are tears to shed, there are knowing smiles, and definitely lessons to be learnt.That's why Mangas, or rather Naruto itself, makes up as an unreplaceable part of my life.

Way back into DotA...

2009-05-21T16:31:00.002+08:00

If you ask about DotA in my class, I would tell you that my class isn't that pro. When it comes to my class, I think it would be down to "noob noober noobest" and sportsmanship.
For example, Marcus is the least noob and Jee Kinn is TEMPORARILY the noobest (Untapped Potential).
In my opinion, in DotA, actually in any virtual or non-virtual games, one's noobnesss/professionalism would take 15% and sportsmanship would account for 85%, because I think that it's never about the win nor about putting your friends down, it's for the fun, the process of playing, that we play the game. Well for sportsmanship in my class I shan't give names lest things become too troublesome (What a drag...).

My Screwed-up Life

2009-05-21T16:12:00.002+08:00

21-May-2009, Thursday, approximately 9.15am.

"What is your bloody problem? Why do you still not have the form? Why are u so irresponsible? What do you use your memory cells in your brain for? Go back to your seat, I don't want to see your face, I don't want to see your name!"

Exhausted and frustrated.
Moment of my life.

I got screwed by Miss Sara very badly during English lesson. Stupid memory of mine. Yes, my energy condition is getting worse; I just can't sleep late, but I did that for so many days in a row. But I have no choice, got to solo Science project since our cute little Dennis doesn't know much about chemistry. Screwed up my maths CCT too by the way.

What happened to my brain's memory cells? I'm losing them.
Am I losing them? No, I'm losing myself.
Am I losing myself? No, I'm losing my life.
Yes, I'm losing my life. I mean, I have no life.

Maybe if Peter Parker (Spiderman)'s uncle told him, "With no life, comes no reponsibility", he might have ended up failure like me. Or not. He isn't forced by his mum (he's got no mum, hurray) to take up a 3rd language he has no interest in, deprived from having any fun, and forced to solo a retarded Science project. Or maybe I'm too childish?
Well I don't feel like a failure. That's the problem. The problem is that I don't feel like a failure. Off to hell with myself!

Only when I have finished this post that I suddenly realise a scolding from my teacher can be so thought-provoking. Woo.

I think I'm having a quiz fever

2009-04-30T23:59:00.005+08:00

took this quiz from a random blog, haha, nothing else to do so quiz is not a bad choice compared to daydreaming (or 'night'dreaming?) Wooooo 100 questions!

1) What is the subject you hate most?
*** Physics, yes.
2) What happened at 10am today?
*** English lesson.
3) When did you last cry?
*** Huh?
4) What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
*** C'mon I don't like peanut butter.
5) What do you want in your life now?
*** Either to have excellent grades, or to have my mum understand me.
6) Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up with a hood?
*** Are you kiddin' me? Only crazy people wear hoods without umbrellas when it rains!
7) Who do you hate?
*** Myself, who else.
8) What is your favourite thing to put on your bed?
*** Soft pillows, gonna change to laptop next time :P
9) What bottom are you wearing now?
*** What has it got to do with you?
10) What is the nicest thing in you inbox and by who?
*** Don't you know what's 'privacy'?
11) Do you wish to make your relationship complicated?
*** I want it simple, because life is already that confusing.
12) Are you wearing anything that you borrowed from someone?
*** I have personal hygiene.
13) What is the last movie you caught?
*** Push.
14) What is the oldest message in your inbox and by who?
*** How would I remember?
15) What are you proud of?
*** Being a Chinese xD
16) What was the last song you sang out loud?
*** That S-POP Hurray theme song by JJ Lin, called "Hurray一起摇".
17) Do you have a nickname?
*** Yes [S.S.CoCo], the ultimate Ghost Ship! ^^
18) What does your last received message say?
*** "Who tmr afternoon wan play soccer at sch?"
19) What time did you go to school yesterday?
*** 6.50am... 5min later than usual but I still wasn't late for school :)
20) Are you currently happy?
*** No.
21) Who gives you best advices?
*** Most of the time I'll think myself, but sometimes my friends give me some great insights!
22) Do you eat whipped cream right out a can?
*** What does that mean?
23) Who did you last talk on the phone with?
*** Minghan "Everest", bah hah hah.
24) Is anything bugging you now?
*** Yes, to the point of without buggings my life becomes almost meaningless :X
25) Who/what was the last person who made you laugh?
*** Jun Shuo "Alan" Le Muo.
26) Do you wear Toe Shoes?
*** What's that? ._.
27) Who was the last person you missed call from?
*** My mum.
28) Have you ever had your heart broken?
*** After all these my heart never broke, so it will definitely never break. I be strong :)
29) Who annoys you the most?
*** My French teacher (Aileen Chor sister) o.o
30) Do you have a crush on anyone now?
*** No, anyway I made a pact with myself too.
31) Have you ever done cocaine?
*** Can you ask me things I know of?
32) What's the colour of your room?
*** Like most typical HDB flat rooms it's white, still great though :D
33) Would you kill someone for a billion dollars?
***For me I won't. But, are you providing that I'm a utilitarianist or what? In what situation?
34) Do you believe in saying talk is cheap?
*** You mean 'talk is cheap'? Well normally it is, but in special cases it might not be.
35) Who was the last person to lie on your bed?
*** Myself.
36) Who was the last person who hugged you?
*** My gay class monitor :P was playing only lah
37) What do you want to say to the person you have a crush on?
*** That depends on the person. I don't know 'cos I don't have a crush on anyone.
38) Do you have a life?
*** Not sure but I definitely have more life than you.
39) Have you ever thought that someone had died when he didn't?
*** Well I would try to stay calm and check properly, instead of being stupid.
40) What's the reason behind your blog song?
*** Okay you have some serious grammar problem, by the way my blog has no songs.
41) Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
*** A kitten :O
42) When was the last time you smiled?
*** Earlier in the afternoon.
43) What are you listening to now?
*** The sound of insects and cars outside in the night at 12.45am.
44) Have you changed this year?
*** Yeah undergoing major changes both physically and mentally.
45) Are you talking to someone else while doing this?
*** No. Please, it's so late already. Oh wait, OK now just talked to another bored person on MSN
46) Do you walk with your eyes open or close?
*** Do YOU walk with your eyes open or close? Orh well you just slapped yourself.
47) Is there a quote by your living?
*** "I've lost my head! It was ye' big, I put it on my spear, if you find it let me know." LOL.
48) Do you want someone you don't have?
*** You only want someone if you don't have him, if you have someone you won't want him ~.~
49) Have you ever played an instrument?
*** Recorder, flute and piano.
50) What was the worst idea you thought of this week?
*** Dancing with Kimsong during Chemistry lesson... Or is it bad?
51) What were you doing last night at 11pm?
*** Lying on my bed going to sleep.
52) Are you happy with your love life now?
*** Not applicable.
53) What song describes your love life?
*** Bah Bah Black Sheep.
54) Does that person you love know you like him/her?
*** Not applicable.
55) Who always make you laugh?
*** Kimsong, Marcus, Tionghan and sometimes myself xP
56) Do you speak other languages?
*** Yes, Chinese... and French (is sucking)
57) Are you blonde?
*** No blondes allowed.
58) What is your middle name?
*** "Yu".
59) What are you doing tomorrow?
*** Stop making me upset.
60) What do you think you are?
*** Someone who has more life than you.
61) Who do you choose to die with?
*** To die with what I came to this world with -- Myself.
{Seems like there's a bunch of missing questions}
73) Who do you admire the most?
*** Mr. Leon Lai! Alright LOL I don't know.
74) Which month were you born in?
*** The spanking cool new cool November!
75) How are you feeling now?
*** Sienzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
76) What time is it now?
*** 1.05am
77) Where are you now?
*** Home =.=
78) What colour would you like to dye your hair?
*** Only unconfident people dye their hair.
79) Why are you doing this quiz?
*** Trying to prove that I have more life than you.
80) What do you do when you feel moody?
*** I release my unhappiness by shouting, punching wall etc. But I don't vent it on people :)
81) At what age do you want to get married?
*** Preferably 20+, below 30. I don't want to be too much older than my children xD
82) Who is more important?
*** Incomplete sentence. Everyone is important by the way.
83) Do you have enough confidence?
*** Yes, except in some cases...
84) Who is the person you trust the most?
*** Up till now myself, but also my cousin Haoran :D
85) Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
*** There is no such thing as belief in rainbow, it's purely physics which I hate to mention.
86) If you have a dream that hasn't come true, what would you want it to be?
*** Get GPA 4.0 for all my PRs -.-
87) What are your goals for this year?
*** Improve my french grades and my overall GPA. Make 2E first if there's RI inter-class DotA.
88) Do you believe in internal life?
*** Once again, what is that?
89) What do you love?
*** I love people I love, too hard to mention by words B-)
90) Do you believe in global warming?
*** That's why I said I have more life than you. Read the papers.
91) What feeling do you hate the most?
*** All lousy feelings, of course.
92) Do you treasure every single friendship of yours?
*** Yes, most certainly.
93) Do you give up 2nd chances easily?
*** Giving up 2nd chances is foolish. "Shea Foo-lish!" -Weishen the Random.
94) Who cares for you the most?
*** In fact I don't know, maybe nobody.
95) What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
*** Giving myself an answer, and to live by my principles.
96) What would you bring when you fight?
*** My laptop: "Let's settle this in a com game match!" :D no real life violence.
97) What is the thing you regret?
*** Wasting my precious primary school life with no meaning.
98) What will you feel when nobody cares about you?
*** Is anything unusual? I mean, who ever cared about me?
99) What if your stead two-time you?
*** Get a life, man.
100) Do you still love your ex?
*** Not applicable. And if it's an "ex" then you shouldn't still be wasting time loving him/her.

Next person to do this:
*** Anyone who has more life than you.

To DotA players...

2009-04-28T19:11:00.002+08:00

This post is about Kill Rights in DotA...
I wish to know everyone's opinion on who should get the kill in the following scenario:

INT hero X and STR hero Y are allies, fighting the sole enemy Z
X engaged Z first and used 2 skills on Z and fought with Z 1 on 1, Y came later halfway through the battle and hit Z twice, Y did not use any skills nor take any damage while X took all the damage. When Z was about to die, a Morphling just waveformed in and killed Z.
X said Morphling KSed him while Y said Morphling KSed him.
X argued that the person who engaged the enemy first and did most of the fighting should get the kill. However, Y argued that the person who is able to (which means he can, but he did not) deal the most damage should get the kill, regardless of the other factors.

So, what do you think? Does X deserve the kill, or Y? Please vote at the poll section on the left. Thank you.

Hahahaha

2009-04-28T19:00:00.002+08:00

LOL I have been spinning pens too much recently, since I learned how to spin it around my thumb instead of just my index finger. Sometimes I don't pay attention in class, just look at the pen spinning on my hand, then I will go into this thoughtless state, like being hypnotised, and slowly close my eyes... and doze off.

Even as I was standing at the bus-stop today, my hand just went into the 'pen-spinning' posture automatically and I felt that there was a pen in my hand, but when my fingers moved then I realised it was just an illusion. Haha, I think that's what we call "habit is second nature"!

GLHF to everyone :)

Daydreamzzz

2009-04-26T20:45:00.011+08:00

LOL will be doing a quiz taken from my friend's (Julius) blog now :D

1. Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
*** Kiss my shoe! ... Sorry, forehead or maybe cheeks.
2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
*** Hmm, excited?
3. Who was the last person you took photo with?
*** Two 'big sisters' at the Cristofori Musical Performance...
4.Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
*** Err, nop D:
5.Would you ever donate blood?
*** I think so, I'm O-type :P
6.Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
*** I know it's very long ago, but I don't even remember her face. Sad thing, sure lost contact ler T_T
7.Do you want someone dead?
*** None in real life, well I prefer Swordiebrom from LastAlliance clan dead (that's Rakion! xD)
8.What does your last text message say?
*** "Can play?" (sweat = =)
9.What are you thinking of right now?
*** I'm thinking about... Audition, the game, yeah.
10.Do you wish someone was with you right now?
*** Yes and no, yes 'cos yea, no 'cos no.
11.What time did you go to sleep last night?
*** About 1 am.
12.Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
*** A Giordano shop in a shopping mall, in Singapore.
13.Is someone on your mind right now?
*** Hmm, that's a hard question~
14.Who was the last person to text you?
*** Liang Ping -.-
10 PEOPLE TAGGED TO DO THIS QUIZ:
(Well I only know Julius, I will just include random names from my blog links)
1-Julius
2-Gwendalynne
3-Haoran
4-Jasmine
5-Jiaxuan
6-Tionghan
7-Jolene
8-Pai-yu
9-Minghan
10-Kimsong

15. Who is 2 having relationship with?
*** Since she's in a girls' school I don't think she is in a relationship :O
16. Is 3 a male or a female?
*** Male...
17. If 7 & 10 get together will that be a good thing?
*** Fine I won't laugh, I WON'T LAUGH! Wait, wait, done catching my breath. A very good thing indeed!
18. What is number 1 studying about?
*** Like he himself said "same as all sec 2 express" :)
19. Is Number 4 single?
*** No, attached.
20. Say something about Number 5?
*** That's hard... Well, enthusiastic?
21. What do you think about Number 3 & 6 being together?
*** Tionghan is gay but Haoran is not; No comments *ehem*
22. Describe Number 9.
*** ACBC KLYT!! Okay JKJK, hmm... he is... nice, to girls =.=
23. What will you do if Number 6 & 7 fight?
*** SERIOUSLY I'M NOT GONNA LAUGH! AHHH! I will take picture of it? OK no offence Jolene xP
24. Do you like Number 8?
*** Yea he's a great and fun guy and is popular among GIRLS and boys, and most importantly he reads chinese novels!! (We Rox xD)

SHORT and SWEET

2009-04-24T19:44:00.002+08:00

I WONDER if people know how to freaking CONTROL their freaking mouths, It's "chinese" not "china", you don't say "china man" or "china thing", u say " chinese...", AT THE VERY LEAST for the sake of using proper english? And Confucius is not funny, he is wise, wiser than those freaking CHILDISH halfbreeds in our society who have NO RESPECT, and I'm certain I will hold those people in CONTEMPT.

The RI Ultimate Spasm -- Rebellion During Test

2009-04-21T20:01:00.005+08:00

Ya I did say I didn't intend to include those fun or funny posts in my blog but this one is too good to pass up.

You see, we have assembly as the last period on Tuesday and some people have 3rd language in the afternoon, I'm one of them. The last period ends at around 1.40pm and 3rd language class starts at 2.30pm. However, today all the sec 2 Rafflesians had to take a UNSW (University of New South Wales) test on computer studies, therefore our lunch time in between was just eaten up. Well the test was 45 mins long and we started at around 1.45pm, so it was supposed to end at 2.30pm.

The examination ground was at our school hall, much to our horror (actually maybe pleasure), there were only 2 invigilators, Mrs Chor (commonly called Aileen Chor) and Mr Lee, well the issue here is that our sole spotlight is on Mrs Chor (Applause). I think she is the only teacher whose lesson has a weird atmosphere, because she is strict (and she always scolds people randomly without any reason) but no one really cares, I don't know why.

So those people with various reasons, mainly 3rd language, spam all the answers and hand up the paper to go off early, unusually early. So Mrs Chor said, "Only those people who have 3rd lang can hand up early!" So immediately everyone said they have 3rd lang. Our lovely Mrs Chor discovered her mistake and said, "No one will hand up until the time is up!"
Did that work? A Bigger "No". Whenever she is at another side of the hall people would sneak up and dump their papers into the hand-up-box and they just run out of the hall! So Mrs Chor went walking around catching and scolding people who were repeatedly attempting to sneak up to the box, shouting, "SIT DOWN! SIT DOWN!" Then everyone in the hall clapped and cheered and imitated the way she normally did her shushing "shhhh", "shhh", it was so retarded but so hilarious.

(Hey there's actually a 'cut scene' somewhere in between I have forgotten where: Akshay and Dennis were playing their iPhone touch game but Mr Lee just walked past them and went to answer Ramu's question! Hah hah!)

Then she still kept us back even when it was already 2.40pm! So a few funny guys from my class started some commotion by pretending to talk to each other loudly, Dennis said, "Prakash, do you know it's 2.40?" Then Prakash and Dennis and Akshay carried on those sorts of protests. Then even the classes commitees standed up and started collecting the papers. Mrs Chor went to the left side of the hall and blocked people from exiting and slammed the doors shut, but people just went (and ran) out through the back and the right. I escaped from the right and the whole crowd were screaming and cheering. LOL, I learned that 2 teachers cannot keep an entire Horde from "rebelling". Bleh.

Well for those non-RI people who don't really get the situation, Mrs Chor is really our special case, that kind of our more 'exotic' teacher. You know. Well this post is purely for fun and not targeted at anyone, everyone would have had his teenage days going against the rules along with his buddies!

Can't ANYONE Understand?

2009-04-18T18:17:00.004+08:00

I'm posting all these because I want to help all of you. You think that you don't need any help on anything; You think I have nothing better to do, coming here to write crap saying all of you are stupid; You think that im acting more matured than you, you are not happy with WHAT YOU THINK I'm doing.

Then go ahead.

I will just say what I want to say.

There's this person who likes to joke about his friends for fun, what must be admitted is that he is an entertaining friend. However, sometimes he overdo them, he goes over the other person's limit. But the other person always never got angry. One day they were playing a multiplayer game together. Halfway through the game the other person's mother scolded him (I'm not explaining why because it's not relevant), when he went back to the game with a very bad mood, the person who liked to joke said that the other person was useless just because he committed a mistake in the game. The other person couldn't take it anymore, he exploded in anger and started quarreling with the joker guy, childishly the joker guy took it for real and started quarreling, it was not even quarrel, just bunch of irrelevant crap being said. After some time the angry guy calmed down a bit, though being very disappointed of how his "friend" treated him, he tried to talk to his friend. The foolish joker guy went on saying crap about him, making him totally dismayed. Because he always thought that the joker guy, regardless of his joking habit, was different from his other friends who were not real friends.

But he was totally wrong. WRONG. "Too bad"?

Laugh at it. Try.

What would you have done if you were in the joker guy's position?

You think that the other guy is just a short-tempered bastard, you just don't recognise what you have done to him, but you just think you are right. "He IS useless. Don't be my friend if you don't want to, it doesn't matter to me, you think I need you so much? You think you're my mum? Trying to lecture me?" You continue scolding him with whatever rubbish you could think of. You tell him to shut up when he is trying to save the friendship.

You won't know if that person already has a mother who doesn't understand him; You won't know if that person already got degraded by his classmates enough just because of his country; You won't know how has he lived his years until now, not as comfortable and easy as you did; You won't know how much mental pressure has the person suffered.
But you can do you part by being nice and tolerant to people around you, ESPECIALLY your FRIENDS.

That person get upset so many times and stacked up in one single day, plus so many times more than people around him. I don't dare to say that the person's lifespan hasn't been reduced by a month.

What has it got to do with you?
One day, long after you let your emotion take over your friend's place; One day, when you start to realise those "friends" around you do not seem like friends anymore; And One day, when u recall you chose the "friend" who could help u win multiplayer games instead of the friend who was always ready to help you in times of need, only then will you regret, will you learn, will you understand me.

Try thinking about it, I'm really not acting that I am mighty wise.
Why do I know some things you didn't? The answer is, because I am from another country, because I'm from a single parent family, because I have to buy the same 2 dollar dinner every night while you eat dinner cooked by your mother or grandmother, because even my mother doesn't understand me. That's why. I don't think you would want all these just to be able to understand many things, but I sincerely wish you try.

It's time to start growing up, we're 14, and we should redefine the meaning of friends, we should find all we have lost from our naive days.

2009-03-04T20:25:00.003+08:00

(This post is a reply to the author of the blog "critically-me". I have read many of Mr. S'bas Chen's posts on his blog about Raffles students, and I think the ever-increasing misunderstanding must be resolved.)

Hi Mr. S'bas Chen, I'm not sure whether to call u "mister" or not but since you are already working I reckon I should include this addressing as a form of politeness. I will try my best to sound friendly though some part of this post might seem argumentative, also I detest the usage of double entendre so you don't have to worry about any beat-around-the-bush statements.

You have brought up many points that really shocked me when I first read your blog. I am a secondary 2 RI student now, the secondary 1s you have mentioned in you blog since last year are actually the batch I am in. I know that you were very upset by the misbehaviour of the secondary 1 RI students at "Connect SG". I was sick on that day and I didn't turn up for the event, so I was not aware of what happened.

I remember there was an ex-school-counsellor who replied on your blog, in reponse to your dissension and unhappiness towards RI students, and he really made some good points, so I won't emphasise more on those. Well, this is not just a reply of apology, therefore I wish to raise some points too.

I would like to ask you: are you really sure that a student really heard "Waffles" when RI was doing their school cheer? Can you be certain that it really was Rafflesians' 'pride and arrogance' which made them protest things like 'see, neighbourhood schools'?

To tell the truth, I really don't see any difference between a RI student and a neighbourhood student. But, do you know what 'we Raffles people' did wrong? We did wrong for knowing a bit more than our primary schoolmates; We did wrong for getting a few more marks than our friends for PSLE; And we ultimately did wrong for entering RI as our secondary school. It is me who get stared at because of my white uniform when I return to my primary school on Teacher's Day, it is also me who walk with my head lowered when I encountered groups of neighbourhood school students.

I shall use an extract from the novel "To Kill A Mockingbird": "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." I will tell you some events which always happen to me, from my point of view. Online gaming is currently one of the easiest and fastest way to interact with other members of the community, and I have found that many people like to ask questions like 'which school are you from?' After I tell them they just shout right at my face things like 'bloody nerd', 'only knows how to study', 'get lost', 'I know that you are damned smart, stupid idiot', and even vulgarities, I also get kicked out of the game room because I am a Rafflesian. In real life too, people just say "RI la, 'smart' la", "eh RI, talk nerd leh, teach us maths leh", maybe I should also ask "What is this"?

All these would give a Rafflesian a mindset thinking people like to find trouble with him just because he is a Rafflesian. With a mindset like this, a Raffles student would definitely feel a great sense of retaliation when he hears someone calling Raffles 'Waffles', putting aside whether the person said it intentionally or not. By putting yourself in his shoes, don't some things just come to sense? He makes comments about another person's school because the other person insulted his school, now doesn't "see, neighbourhood school" sound more logical? And a Rafflesian would have said it in such a situation, if he didn't suppress his feelings at the moment.

I know that there are some people who are just irritating and disgusting with a bad character, I have seen a few of them in my school though I don't know them too well. However, I would also like you to know that the students have already lived for 12 years before entering RI! 12 years is long enough for one's family, one's environment and people around one to mold one's character into shape. What can character/moral education do to a person who already has a hardened character, not to mention in a year? The people whom I know well in RI are all good fellows, and it's we RI people who long to be treated just like how neighbourhood school students are treated.

Actually, I can't address those people with lousy character as just a group of Rafflesians, I should address them as a group of Singaporeans, because there are some people in different areas who possess wrong ideas and thoughts. This is not the focus of this post so I'm not emphasising on this.

I have also discovered that people have some incorrect impressions of RI: Our school motto is "Nurturing Leaders, Thinkers and Pioneers", not "The Only School Producing Leaders, Thinkers and Pioneers for Singapore". Not every one of us will be governing Singapore in the future, similarly not everyone from a neighbourhood school will never become a parliament member. For example, I am a Rafflesian and I dislike politics, many of us do.

I also remembered that you mentioned one of my batch mates called Goh Yon Lu, I went to check with him and he admitted that he did send a letter to you, but he really didn't mean to seem "high and mighty", maybe it was because he was just in secondary 1 and was not perfect in expressing his thoughts. But for one instance, those Rafflesians who had been flaming Mr. S'bas Chen's blog, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

To end off this long post, I still wish to apologize on behalf of Rafflesians if all these misunderstanding has brought you much trouble. I wish this post can clear all the misunderstandings. Please feel free to comment using the shout box.

You are human, I am human, Rafflesians are human, neighbourhood school students are human. We are of the same species, therefore schools and countries must not make us different. Don't you agree?

Singaporeans, Chinese, Earthlings

2008-11-24T16:24:00.003+08:00

This post is a very serious one (yes I mean it literally). It is directed to a part of Singaporeans, mainly Singaporean chinese, but I think everyone should read it. I am wanting to help while trying to control my anger at the same time so please, forgive me if it triggers a bit of anxiety.

I haven't, until now in secondary 1, witnessed the ugly side of life, which then has caused me a lot of confusion and sadness, and anger. I don't understand why singaporeans, even chinese, have problems with chinese (literally meaning it, chinese from China) or even detest them.

One day I was going to play game on my computer, then one person came into the chatroom and started typing in chinese. He said, "I am from China. You are Singaporeans, right? I know that Singaporeans are good in chinese. I'm not good in english, that's why I'm typing chinese here." But how did one specific singaporean respond? He typed in a provoking manner, "Hey you 'chee-na' guy, go **** (censored: means to have sexual intercourse) yourself and drink your malemine milk." Then another Singaporean added, "ya 'chee-na', haha."

I was extremely disgusted and sick of these two singaporeans above, However it's not just two of all the Singaporeans, it's a lot of them in Singapore! I always wonder why Singaporeans dislike Chinese so much, why must they scold chinese for the malemine accident, but not americans for the poisonous beef accident?

Yes, I am a chinese, from China. Why does everyone have to draw such a clear line from every other? Differences between nationalities, religions, why do we let them decide that some people must be treated differently from others? Americans and indians are human, singaporeans are human, chinese are also human!

Another very significant thing, chinese's accents. Singaporeans, especially chinese, make fun of chinese's accents. I was asked to repeat some words in chinese by my schoolmates because I was speaking proper chinese and they said I have an accent. I was, and am, very offended. Am I a clown? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT'S AN ACCENT? Go and count the number of towns in China; in every town you can find a different accent. If I'm having accent while I'm just speaking proper chinese, then what about the rest of the 1.4 billion chinese, are they even speaking chinese? Are you saying singaporeans' hokkien-english mixed chinese is the proper one?

I wish to ask those people who watched on Channel 8 "Anniversary Gala 2008" on 23/11/2008. Have you noticed how your older generation speak chinese? Are you going to scold them? And also, if you look carefully at those earlier singapore-made TV dramas, do you see how the japanese in that era, during the japanese invasion, tortured the males and raped the females? Are you going to follow them and say 'chee-na' which means to scold all chinese, that is, ALL chinese, are weak and stupid? Do you know also how your ancestors took all the risks to voyage all the way from China to Singapore? Can you imagine, if your parents were killed, your lover was raped, and you started scolding your grandparents 'chee-na'? I can't.

I have been really disappointed with how singaporeans regard chinese, even if you're not a chinese, don't you have the basic respect and consideration or friendliness of a human being? Inhumanity doesn't just mean cruelty, go think about this word literally and you'll know. Those who think you're not part of these specific singaporeans, thank you very much. You could use this post as a reflection of thought or whatsoever.

As a citizen of Singapore (don't draw the line so clear, literally ok?), I really like this safe, clean and colourful country, that's why I don't wish singaporeans to become what they might become in other countries' people's eyes if all these go on. e.g. A singaporean was standing in a london train station, boasting about Singapore's MRT by comparing it to England's subway. Be proud as a singaporean, but don't overdo it.

Sensitivity is a strength, and it will always be. Just think more about cause n' effect and put yourself in others' shoes before you do something awful to them. Would you like to be treated likewise? Thank all of you for lending your time.

Stressed out, and frustrated

2008-08-18T16:49:00.003+08:00

As the title implies...

Very stressed and frustrated. Didn't play much last weekend, spent Saturday revising for Geography Common Class Test. Then I spent Sunday revising and preparing the 3 minute speech about bags that I was going to do for Oral Communication Formative Assessment today. Anyway, I was quite happy today that my presentation went through smoothly (Heh heh). But by today night, I must finish my narrative poem and revise some more for Geography 'cos the test is tomorrow! And I also have to search for pictures for my Research Education poster (Huh huh it's late). Tomorrow I'll have to focus on revising for Philosophy as the Philosophy test will be on the next day, the poem-writing assignment will also be due on that day.

To add to the trouble, there are some irritating, childish and racist people in my class who like to insult others and others' races... Anyway I'm not even agitated 'cos I really despise this kind of people.

Very "sien" I don't like to "mug" please comfort me if u can! ARRRGGHHHH...

Selfishness? No?

2008-08-15T14:23:00.002+08:00

"If you don't live for yourself, you cannot survive in between heaven and earth."

This is a part from a previous post.
"Live for youself? How selfish!"
Selfishness? What is selfishness? I suppose we all know. Now let's talk about a very, very normal thing: saving money. Saving money is a smart thing to do as you would have money to spend just in case something happens, and saving money in large quantity is usually about leaving enough property for the next generation, we usually do this when we have a lot of extra cash to save. But why save more by limiting all your expense when you are already saving a little?
Now when you save for the next generation, your aim is to let them have a happier life. However, do remember that after you die, you can't see their happiness, and I actually found that when you want to make others happy, you actually do it because you will be happy. How can a dead person be happy? If we look at it this way, isn't this also being selfish?
What we see everyday, things we call 'selfish', are actually 'surface selfish'.
Another example, we call people who litter for their own convenience selfish. But what about those who are promoting green actions? They claim their purpose to be ensuring a good eco-system for the future generations, for the survival of human kind, so it's actually about the living on of humans, can't we say this to be selfish?

I think there is no 'good' or 'bad' in this world, all these are just descriptions, words created by human, and we are taught to produce different imageries when we see different words. All of them are illusions, but illusions which keep us alive with our daily life, which keep the world going on as normal! But what is normal? Everything around us seems normal to us, but surely not to any other beings.
The extinction of animal species. We are calling ourselves cruel to have made some animal species extinct. But if such advanced knowledge never existed, and human are just like animals, would we even know anything?
Nowadays, the society is all about, competition, fame, pride, success, manipulation, deceit; things WE have created for OURSELVES. All words are just a dream, all humans' dream, in which we have sank, too deep, too deep.
After thinking so much, I am confused, and very much irritated.

But what is 'confusion'?

Be POSITIVE!! Important thing towards happier life

2008-08-14T19:36:00.005+08:00

Now this is the real thing focusing on 'Positivity'.

Message to All: Be Positive. You won't regret it.

Now about being positive, it may sound so easy but it's actually not so. I have friends, girls, who are 'dumped' by their so called 'boyfriends' and started 'emo-ing' for a long time. What for? I'm sure they knew it couldn't be real "Love" ('cos they still haven't considered lots of things before starting a relationship. e.g. their future, stuff like that etc.) but they went on 'emo-ing', it's sad to see friends like this so I just tried to help them (or sort of counsel). I used everything i had to make them become positive but I couldn't, they just thought they were matured enough to know what was happening. I gave up and let them recover by themselves, maybe time really heals wounds. (I'm not criticising the girls, no offence)

Being positive really makes your life happier, especially if u hate your life. For example, you buy some cherries and grapes from the market, and you find that the two fruits actually taste almost the same. Now we all know that the prices of cherries and grapes are totally different stories, but instead of being frustrated by thinking that you have wasted money to buy cherries that taste like grapes, you could tell yourself that you've bought grapes that taste like cherries and be much more happier. From this we can also know that a sense of satisfaction also comes along with positivity, as the chinese saying goes "one who is contented with what he has is always happy". We don't have to go after fashion, use all our energy to catch live star performances, after all, our way of thinking ultimately affect our moods.

All these seem so little, but I have found that they are very philosophical and magical. You have the choice to make your life more wonderful, why not do it?

Life VS Death

2008-08-14T19:03:00.003+08:00

When it comes to 'hope', you may think of positivity. Because being positive fills yourself with hope. Now let's talk about positivity.
I have thought about a lot of things, which I think is far too much of what a person of my age would think and too wild too. (don't get the wrong idea, I am serious here, no thinking of sick stuff and stuff like that. I repeat that I am Not Childish or Shallow like some.) Things I think usually involve people, everything about people, emotions, thoughts, actions, characters, what we have lost and how, and more. As my header says "imagination has no boundaries", I can't describe all of them in a few words.
I am a person who is very realistic, I consider factual things, for example there's a chinese saying "If you don't live for yourself, you cannot survive in between heaven and earth". I have ask my mother about this before, she told me not to say it 'cos it's a villain's line; but what's so good about being a hero? Everyone will die one day, who cares even who are you after another century? Nobody has never been selfish. We all want to be happy and enjoy our life and that's the point of life actually.
Now we come to life & death, some people are afraid of death while some claims to be not. I also admit that I am afraid of death. As a mortal being, with all the earthly temptations, who ever wants to die? I am positive (My mother never holds back while scolding people, sometimes because I'm too positive, I have been ridiculed by my mother to be 'feelingless' and 'inhumane'.), I have learned to accept everything, pleasant and unpleasant, that smacks into my face everyday (including my mother's palm sometimes), but the only thing which I HAVEN'T REALLY ACCEPTED is death.
When you die, you lose everything: This wonderful world too. There's nothing 'for you to explore', there's just nothing. And you are just dead...
... ... ... ...
Let's work hard to accept it then. LOL.

Post Explaining My Title

2008-08-14T17:56:00.004+08:00

OK hi all this is my first post.

So hmm, why is my blog name "Pursuit for Hope"?
I'm not referring to the literal 'hope', but everything that is hope to me. My current hope is to have a real friend, true friend, which I think in the long run of man's hostory, much of its genuine meaning is lost.
Recently i noticed that people like to 'befriend' those who can crack childish jokes, even if they themselves are the jokes, and they laugh when being laughed at.
To me, a friend is not someone who says rubbish to make you laugh; not someone to help you get better grades; NOT SOMEONE WHO IS SHALLOW; not someone who makes fun of you. If that's your reason of getting a friend you are not one either. A friend is someone who understands you, spare a thought for you; who accompanies you; whom you can tell him/her all your troubles; WHO WILL LEAVE A MARK IN YOUR LIFE.

That is what I think. Since I came to RI after graduating from primary school, on top of all the stress, I realised that I have not any true friends. Yes it may sound emotional, and I'm not saying you guys are crude or something, but these are my feelings.

Of course you don't expect this to be the only 'hope', there are much more things coming up so stay tuned to new posts on my blog please. ^^